Seriously. What are the last few items that you have crocheted for yourself? I used to be really bad at this, but a little motivation to change goes a long way. I crocheted the last Monster Puppet for myself, my upcoming Not a Shawl Shawlette, and the Jackalackackie Hat. I wear the shawlette and hat all the time. Winter soccer practice has been at this creepy (like ax murderer creepy) park, where we have to walk up a giant road to the building with no heat. They have come in handy in keeping me warm.
Some days I feel like I don’t have time to sit down and actually crochet. Exhaustion and 9 pm will roll around, leaving me to wonder why I didn’t get any hook time yet that day. It’s a little frustrating, seeing that crochet is my jam. Life is so busy during the day. There’s running around in the evening, the phone’s ringing off the hook (do they do that anymore?), and why is food shopping need to be done so often? There’s dinners to cook, kids to shuttle around, and homework to check… plus whatever else is competing for your attention. I think it’s amazing that I have time to crochet at all.
When I was in high school, I remember a friend of mine saying, “if Jess isn’t home, she’s probably in the woods somewhere.” He was right. This was before cell phones, social media, and being “ON” all of the time. Pagers (click here to find out what those are… young people) were popular at the time, but I didn’t have one. It was impossible to find me if I wasn’t near the house phone or someone you could get in touch with… unless you knew my spots and went out into nature to find me. A few people knew where to look for me. Somewhere, while growing up, I lost that amazing part of myself. I miss it.
There’s this thing that happens to me. I feel a little down about everything for days on end. I feel like a loser… in life, as a homemaker, and definitely as the owner of my crochet business. There’s comparing myself to other people (which is dumb, because a snap shot of someone’s “life” on social media is no basis for comparison). I get sad, and then I get nothing done. It’s really annoying. It’s like I have to torture myself and do this, or I can’t be an artist. I call bullsh*t on that. I don’t need to be my own worst enemy. I need to be positive, motivated, and love what I’m doing… in all aspects of my life. I have to stop caring about what other people seem to be doing and what they seem to have. Maybe they’re just faking it until they make it too. It happens.
Self care is a tricky subject for me. I tend to forget about it at times, freak out, and then need more me time to fix everything. I need a little time for myself a few times a day. Apparently I’m needy in the self care department. I have to be though. I don’t want to snap at the kids (or Hubs), or break down into a blubbering pile of blubbering. I had to recently stop taking my medications that were helping with this entire process recently, because the side effects were trashing my liver and blood sugar… and making my muscles weak, which was driving me nuts. Can’t have weak muscles and do yoga (baby steps getting back into it). So yeah. I’m taking care of the whole taking care of myself thing. I kind of don’t have a choice.
I’ve had it with summer vacation. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to say I’ll miss them while they’re at school. I will miss them, but I will also be GETTING THINGS ACCOMPLISHED. I’m almost giddy in anticipation.
I love roller coasters. The bigger and faster and more loops, the better. It’s a feeling of being terrified for your life and letting go all at the same time. I don’t know. I feel more alive when I ride roller coasters. Maybe it’s because of that fear of falling to your death while you hold on for dear life. The person who came up with roller coasters was a genius, in my opinion.
We’ve all been there… completely overwhelmed with something at some point. What do you do when you are overwhelmed with your everyday business doings? What do you do if there isn’t anyone that can run the day to day operations for you (at worst case scenario) or help out with the tasks that are pulling you down? What then? Maybe you haven’t hit the point of being able to hire that virtual assistant, or didn’t even know that was an option. (I didn’t even know that was a thing until about 3 months ago, and now I’m just trying to build up my business enough to get one!)