Crocheting  and hand stitching has started back up on this pink monster. It’s been a while. I want to finish her, so I can get started on tweaking the crochet pattern for the shop. She’s pretty sweet. Being a fan of B movies, I can’t help but picture her as a horrible sci-fi alien type monster. You know, the ones where you can see the strings and there’s a lot of roaring and fake explosions. The camera work is choppy and the dialogue is horrible… my favorite types of movies.

Pink monster
After all the stitching, this lady is getting a beautiful pair of blue lips!

This got me to thinking that with our special skill set, crocheters could be awesome as the heroes in sci-fi, B movies… or at the very least, survive until the end of them. Humor me. This is the kind of fun I tend to think up when I’ve watched entirely too much television, and have a bit of cabin fever.

  1. If captured, crocheters could escape. We are experts at loosening knots and untangling fiber in general. We also usually carry some sort of scissors, so we could break free from any sticky, web-like spit that could be hurled in our direction.
  2. Crochet hooks are sharp when wielded properly. A well placed ankle-stab could possibly bring an alien type monster to at least one of her knees. This could buy us time to run away.
  3. If we found ourselves dangling over the open maw of an alien type monster, we could lasso a tooth or uvula with the crocheted chain we made earlier in the movie out of 6 types of yarn (for strength)… just in case. This would allow us to swing out of harm’s way.
  4. Crocheters could band together to whip up some amigurumi decoys of other alien type monsters, confusing the main alien type monster. The distraction could let someone set a killer alien type monster bomb close enough to make a difference.
  5. We could crochet yarn barf bombs, designed to unravel when they come in contact with saliva. This could choke the alien type monster out for good.

I think a crochet based, alien type monster, crappy (but awesome) B movie could potentially be watchable. Maybe. What do you think, Hollywood? Anyone want to take me up on this? Anyone?

 

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