Sometimes I just want to sell Knot By Gran’ma, and walk away from it all. Hubs is working 1 day a week, and I just paid myself $1.50 for last week. Surely I could make a better living opening a taco bar… or a brothel; or a taco, brothel bar. It could be called Taco, Taco, Tacos or something. For real. This comes up every year around this time. Everything slows down, and the case of the Pitty Potties comes to visit. I start thinking about selling the thing that makes me happy, because it’s hard and stupid bills… and it’s hard. (I haven’t quit yet, and I really don’t think it would help if I did.) So…
What happens when you want to quit?
I have this thing where I want to be successful. I don’t want to be famous. I’d freak out, and the invasion of privacy would turn me into a horrible version of myself; like Cruella without the dalmatians. Also, my legs shake when I have to be in front of a group of people, and that can be weird for everyone. I want to make a living. I don’t need to be rich; just need to be able to pay the bills when Hubs is only working one day a week, in a difficult field to make a true living.
Part of me wonders if I’m just not good at the business end of Knot By Gran’ma. I can do the creative part, but the other part… meh. I find myself wondering why I didn’t take business classes in college. Then I remember. This 18-22 year old saxophone player was going to be a high school music teacher (on purpose). There was going to be a marching band, and we were going to be awesome, with HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. There was an epiphany somewhere where I realized that I would hate every single minute of it. Props to teachers. Fist bumps all around… Instead I’m here designing crochet patterns and making monsters (which I love)… learning all the business stuff I can, because I didn’t think 25 years ahead. Good going, young me.
This feeling always passes. I know that the weather and time of year play a huge part in this feeling. I get lazy. Everything is gray and blaaaaah. The only way to fix the things I don’t like is to change something. I’m going to start with 3 things I haven’t tried/followed through with before.
- Set tiny goals. Track those goals. Keep track of what is working and what doesn’t. Stop using the I’m an artist so I can’t be good at stuff like this routine. It’s bullshit. By keeping track of the baby goals, maybe I’ll find myself closer to the bigger goals that I’m awesome at planning out… with no real plan of how I’ll get there.
- Work smarter, not harder. Take the time to set up all those different streams of income 100%. Make it so they run by themselves. This will keep my focus on the work instead of the things that I have to tweak, because I didn’t set it up right. Lazy work gets you lazy results.
- FOCUS. I say this a lot and have in the past often, but before I know it I’m looking at shiny things and wondering how I got spread so thin. I need someone to hit me in the head with their shoe every time I start something new before finishing something old. I went from only working on 3 things at a time (which SOUNDED like a good idea), to working on everything at one time and getting NOTHING completed. I can do better.
Maybe you feel the same way? What do you do when you feel like quitting? What helped you? Were you spread too thin? Is this a cyclical thing for you too?